The first church was established for the beginning when God created Adam and Eve to have fellowship with each other and God. Satan has been trying to tear down the marriage relationship from the beginning and is continuing to do so today. Adam blamed Eve for his sin (Gen. 3:12) “the woman who you gave me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” He blames Eve for his fall and in the process blames God for the trouble he’s in. I’m sure Eve thought to Adam’s statement was something to the effect of “I was just being helpful, you didn’t have to eat it, you could have stepped it up and been a man by telling me no! And now you blame me??!!” Man fell into sin. Woman fell into sin. Since then Satan’s antics to destroy the family have continued – Cain vs. Able, Esau vs. Jacob, 11 of Jacob’s sons vs. Joseph, David and Bathsheba’s adultery. Fast forward to today, and now we have over a 50% divorce rate in ”Christian” families.
Just as Christ has redeemed us from our sin, so has He redeemed marriage. Ephesians 5:22 says “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.” How do you submit to the Lord? By seeking His guidance, by respecting His authority, hiding in His protection, and giving you life to Him. So, just as we submit to the Lord this is how we need to submit to our husbands. Submitting is not a command it is a choice to put yourself under someone’s authority. If someone is demanding submission out of you it no longer means submission but it becomes a directive. No longer a choice, but an order. In addition, Paul also directs submission “to your own husband” rather than to anyone else. As a woman you are not under the authority of any other man besides your husband. This is where society feels the Bible views women being less than men and feminist reject the Word of God because they feel God has said woman have no value. That is a falsehood; if God did not value women He would not have created us to be so impactful and instrumental in this world. Verse 23 “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Through Christ’s death we are saved and when we accept and claim Him as our Savior we become one with Christ by being a part of his body. This is why marriage is used as an example and picture of our relationship with Him. As we choose to claim our husband or wife we are saying we are going to be one with him or her. Your head is just a part of your physical body it has a very specific purpose for you to live. The husband being the head simply means he has a role in the relationship to lead, to be accountable to God, to plan the big picture for his family. The wife is pictured as the body and as the body of Christ she has a purpose, too. Each relationship finds that role separately, in my marriage the roles my husband and I have we agreed upon for me to be the manager of our home. Taking care of the day to day management, decisions, monthly budgeting, etc. This isn’t to say my husband isn’t a part of this, but he doesn’t have to worry about it because he trusts my judgment. Even though his focus in on the long term that doesn’t mean I’m not in on the process but then I don’t have to worry about it because I trust him. To think about this in other terms, the corporate world has structures of hierarchy: Board of Directors, CEO, Vice president and staff. Each level has a different level of accountability and responsibility, but without each level the company could not function long before dissolution. If there were two CEO’s no one below them would really know who to follow. So, think back to marriage. The Board of Directors is God just as the CEO is accountable to the Board of Directors the husband has the same to God. If the husband is the CEO then the wife is the Vice President, who directs the staff to do what the CEO has set, to give counsel and to support the husband/CEO. When a company first starts out there isn’t a lot of staff if any, but the staff of this illustration is the children of the home.
Verse 25 states “husband, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Verse 28 states “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” I find it interesting that so many people read this passage of scripture and only see the word “submit” and think of being enslaved or subservient it’s so negative or “old-fashioned.” But they don’t see that “submit” is only used twice but husbands are commanded to “love” their wives three times, as well as being commanded to give up everything for her (vs. 31) I’m so grateful I have a husband that loves me, cherishes me, and scarifies so much of his life to better mine. Just as Christ has done for me. When you have a husband who loves you like Christ, it makes it so much easier to picture Christ has your groom and to want to seek His will and His purpose for your life. In other words, submit to Christ.
Paul ends Ephesians 5 with this statement “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Respect, what does that mean? I feel God explained that back in Ephesians 4:25, “let each of you speak the truth with his neighbor…(32) Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.” Also in Proverbs 31:11-12, “The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain, she does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” I show my respect to my husband by honoring him with my life, being honest with him, and being forgiving towards him (not making a list and record of his faults) just as Christ’s blood has covered my sin and forgiven me I should forgive my husband. Respecting also means doing the best for my husband my whole life. As a reward our husbands will be able to trust us and will show us the love we need. Submission is a scary word until you understand the order and perfection of God’s role in your submission. When we willingly give our will over to God he blesses us and frees us. The same holds true with the husband when I willingly give all myself to my husband, he blesses me with unconditional love, trust, and he willingly listens and values my opinions. He strives to meet my needs and desires. It’s a beautiful, wonderful, blessed cycle which creates a great lasting marriage. Which in the end of my life I pray and strive to hear two phrases one from my husband “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” (Prov. 31:29) Then my Lord Jesus saying “Well, done good and faithful servant you have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” (Matt 25:21).
